American Idol = my salvation

So since I blogged last we *sob* downgraded to antenna.  Horrors!  Well, turns out it was too awful for words and we upgraded to basic cable – still sobbing.  All of this included stupid fees and annoying phone calls leading me to believe that Cox Cable is an good name for that company.

Hate. them. so. much.

Not that there’s anything to watch on tv.  I would watch Burn Notice (yummmmy) but also, USA is not basic cable even though it should be by god!  *shakes fist at sky*

Lost is just dull.  Fringe should be good but isn’t.  I’m ok with the Office but it’s only half an hour…so what else is there?  Oh, right Heroes but meh.

Until this moment I’ve been keeping alive on the meager offerings of Friday Night Lights – don’t go Jason Street!! Lylah will be insufferable without you!!

But now Idol has gotten through the hellacious Hollywood rounds and the boring narrowing down the field rounds and we are here with the top 13.  13?  Ugh.

Anyway, the lights come up and the judges appear!!!  Except without all the extra exclamation points cause it was not that exciting.  Randy looks like himself only in pleather.  Then there’s the new lady, wrapped up like a present.  I hope it’s worth it.  I don’t even know who she is so I’ll just call her Noob.  Here comes Paula!  Hooray, she’s shown up with a slaughtered bird of paradise perched on her shoulder.  Simon.

Our flight attendant host for this two hour ratings booster is, as always, Ryan Seacrest.  Let me get this out there right now.  I think that Ryan does a good job.  He’s a good host.  I like him.

Paula is waaaayy to sober.

There’s some prerequisit blabbering blah blah blah cakes.  It’s Michael Jackson week – I would say yay but it doesn’t really turn out like I hoped.  I didn’t realize that along with Bad and Billie Jean – MJ also wrote/sung/produced a bunch of crap.

Then we get to meet our first contestant as they visit home states!  I wonder when the economy will get bad enough that instead of visiting the contenstants at their home, they’ll just flash a baby picture and be done with it.

Lil Rounds – no that’s really her name.  They show her adorable little family and supportive husband and I’m loving them all until they start on about “the dream”.  Zzzzzzz.  I long for the days of Jason Castro who had no brain cells much less a “dream”.

She sings “The Way you Make me Feel” and it’s pretty good.  She’s got a rich voice, strong sound.  It almost makes me forgive her super high, unflattering white pants and that shirt that someone barfed cotton candy all over.

The judges are polite but not super impressed.  Paula applauds Lil’s fashion sense…so maybe she IS high?!?

Blind Scott – in case you haven’t figured it out already.  Scott is my favorite.  Oh, and he’s blind.  In case you didn’t know, he is.  Blind, I mean.  Let’s go visit his family and hear how they talk about him being blind.  blind blind blind.  His sister?  Also blind and the parents seemed honestly befuddled at how that happened but why after all this time?  Oh dream talk.

Scott and his hair are seated at a piano.  Which he plays beautifully and is kind of why I love him, along with his big (blind) eyes and his weird smile that makes me want to climb up on his piano and peer over the edge and  – ok, enough, I’m sorry!

My love dims slightly when he sings some song I’ve never heard of.  GOD DAMMIT DO NOT SING OBSCURE SONGS!!!  He sounds good and appears to be wearing an army jacket or something?  I don’t know, in that light I can barely see him – irony!

Danny:  He sounds like Ben Folds.  Totally, Ben Folds.

Is that a good thing?

Judges love it but Simon tells him not to sing songs no one knows, even if you want to be ‘artistic’.  Preach it.

Danny Gokey – totally as dorky as his name sounds.  His family is all about singing and he goofs off.  Cute, I guess? He sings P.Y.T. – the world’s creepiest MJ song.

It’s high energy and he’s pretty adorable but I don’t know…kind of sucky.  Of course, the judges love him.  Next!

Michael Sarver – he’s an oil rigger with…wait for it…a dream.  I know.  It’s all so so incredibly boring even though he’s kind of witty.  He sings “You are Not Alone”  baaaarrrrrfffff.  Can anyone hear this song without thinking of the video?

Boring. I think he’s on the line to go home.

Jasmine Murray – oooh, pretty shirt/dress thing!  Her family is just normal even her stage mom.  Pity.

She sings “I’ll be There” – if I had anything left to barf I would.  But I wasted it all on Michael.  Thankfully she does not suck.  Her voice is pretty and light if a little warbly.  She’s no finalist but she’ll stick around for a few weeks.  YES, Randy we all know you know Mariah Carey – god, that’s not necessarily something to be bragging about.

Kris Allen – hmm, shares a first name with a certain North Pole resident.  He’s the “hot” one but I don’t think he’s really that hot.  I miss his home visit cause I was parenting, sorry.

He sings “Do you Remember the Time”.   He sounds ok, the guitar adds nothing but at judging it’s revealed that he is a good guy.  Oh, ok.

Alison Iraheta – grew up singing in a giant spanish-speaking department store and something in that made her awesome!  Her hair, I want it on my head.  I also want her alto voice, it’s all throaty and low and she completely rips apart “Give in to Me” in a good way.  Yes!

Judges agree.

Anoop Desai – I missed him on account of toddler, but in the voting number replay I see he sang “Beat It”.  Good choice but nothing strikes me as particularily memorable.

Jorge Nunez – he’s from Puerto Rico and wants to bring his family together, aw.  He sings “Never Can Say Goodbye”.  It’s a fairly passable MJ impression but I don’t hear Jorge’s own sound coming through.  I hope he stays cause I think he’s got more in him.

The judges think it was the wrong song choice.

Megan Corkey – she’s mom too and she misses her baby!  Wah!  She’s so relatable!!  Sniff.

Then she opens her mouth to sing “Rockin Robin”.  Seriously?  Someone actually chose this song?  Ugh, sympathy over.  It’s weird, weird, weird.  Very awkward and not a good sound.  Simon chalks it up to being the wrong song, I chalk it up to sucking but being cute so she’ll probably get another chance.

EWWWWW, who let Pete Wentz into the building??? Oh wait, it’s just Adam Lambert, our next greasy ass contestant.  I wonder if Trent Reznor ever regrets cutting his hair like that – seriously, that do has become the goth man’s Rachel.  Adam has been in Hollywood for five years and not gotten a record deal.  SHOCKING!

He’s singing “Black and White” a brave choice.  I begin to have video flashbacks.  So remember around the time this Black and White video came out Aerosmith put out the Livin’ on the Edge video?  With Eddie Furlong?  Oh my god, and it was so awesome.  And Eddie and his fat friend steal a car and they crash it and then they jump around like they won the superbowl and then they come to my house and the friend plays nintendo while Eddie takes his shirt off – remember how cool that was?

Oh, song over.  The judges really like him, even going so far as to wonder why he hasn’t been snatched up.   Boo.

Matt Giraud – he’s got a weepy dad.  He’s singing “Human Nature”, lame.  Sigh.  This guy is a poor man’s Justin Timberlake and no, that’s not a good thing.

Alexis Grace – another mommy.  Wow, Fantasia really opened the door for parents didn’t she?  You didn’t see any parents (or if they were they didn’t talk about it) before Fantasia proudly showed off her cute daughter and her single mommy skills.  I like it.  Hee, she teaches her daughter to say “Seacrest. Out.”

She sings “Dirty Dinah” and I’m there with her.  Her voice is soulful and she throws herself into the song.  But at the end she’s got this smug look and I agree with the judge, probably Simon who said, “It wasn’t as good as you thought it was.”

But, it was good.

Yay!  Tomorrow group sing!!!