So get it right!
Finally, I was able to watch and relish a full night of Idol. Granted it was interrupted by conversations like this.
Me: Danny? Danny! DANNY!
Danny: What?
Me: Get the baby, he’s going into the bathroom because you didn’t shut the fucking door. (yeah, working my language is going really well.)
Danny: God, sorr-
Me: GET THE BABY AND SHUT UP IT’S DAVID ARCHULETA!!!
I can be a real bitch sweetheart when it comes to my Idol time. And what an Idol time it was. It was Andrew Lloyd Webber night! I love that creepy Brit!!! Also, his musicals. I’m a sucker for musicals. They have it all, dancing, singing, costumes, gay men – it’s heavenly. Plus I’m glad that Idol is finally acknowledging that Broadway is a feasable career move for these guys. Hello Clay! Hello Constantine! Hello Tamra!
First up was Sayesha and her workshop clips annoyed me. God she’s like a giant puff of annoyness. Mainly, I hate her “assertion” that she’s an actress. But she chooses a really good song. And works it. This probably saved her ass. Florence Mills would have pulled it off in heels. I’m just saying.
Then we have sweet charming Jason Castro singing Memories. Wait? WHAT? Hahaha, oh Jason you moron. Even Lord Webber is like, wtf? Um, this should be interesting. Then Castrated interviews that he had no idea the song was sung by a cat. Seriously Jason? Are you HIGH? Oh… Predictably he sounds like total shit. He knows it. He also knows his suit looks like something cartoon animals wear when they try and dress up in order to be quirky. Next!
It’s cutie pie David Archulta singing Think of Me. God, I love this song. I love this song. And I love what he does with it. Because he’s smart enough to realize that he’s a teenager and probably doesn’t have the experience to sing it the way it was intended so he changes it. Smart move, you should have written Brooke a memo. It sounds great and the advice to open his eyes – spot on. To bad he’s too boring to have an actual career. Yeah, I said it.
Then the Brooke sings that song from Evita and butchers it. Just…ok, my issue isn’t with the starting over. Though I agree it was a stupid move. Because Idol voters are looking for an excuse not to like you. Forgetting the lyrics and being obvious about it? You amatuer! My issue is that she has no idea what she’s singing about, even though Webber layed it out for her. She’s shaking her skraggly mane and trying to look serious. But..this song is about admitting vunerability which was the hardest thing for Eva Peron to do. It’s about asking someone to love you and stay by you even though you can’t necessarily love them the way you’re demanding, even though you will probably treat them badly because that’s your nature you still need them to just love you and only you. So it’s a pretty heavy song and she sucks. Go home.
I despise Carly and I despise her version of this song. The dress is not cool, it makes me want to crawl inside a kaleidoscope and die. Why do these judges love her so much?
Finally we have David. Where are all the decent fan signs by the way? There’s one that says David Cook Rocks. How unoriginal. I would have gone with David Cooks or something. He’s singing Music of the Night. Blech. I’m alone in this I know but this song is just corney. Corn-nay. I do applaud him for being the fugly one on the show yet still choosing a song sung by a man who’s so hideous he wears a mask and who seduces a drunk broken hearted chick with low self esteem by singing this lame ass song. Come to think of it – that’s exactly how frat guys do it!! Except instead of masks they were matching haircuts and instead of songs they talk about whatever stupid book they’re pretending to read. Wow, Phantom is totally a musical about date rape and the greek system! Awesome. David does a good job. I think he’s safe.
